unwinding!

[rockriver]

sometimes you, oops "I" not you! need to unwind.
so, a little confession. (good for the soul, or at least that's the plan)

i joined the local sportsman group and several church organizations and a couple of civic groups and "community groups" and, got involved...
too involved. each wanting more time. all were volunteer organizations. no payola for RR. in fact, it was all cash outbound.
and i had my own priorities. things that needed doing around the home, and preparing, and ...

so i started cutting back, and if others didn't like to see a member/officer cutting back, my response has been easy. "o.k. sorry to disappoint you, i won't be here at the next meeting, and you will not be upset." and if that didn't make them happy, then step 2 was "hey, no problem, i'll give up my officer/director/janitor/clean up/whatever and someone else can do it. sorry there was a problem." and if that didn't get through their thick skulls, step 3 was some polite communication of "i've decided to not renew this year, or i'm going to stay a member, but some conflicts have come up, and you won't see me very often, i'm so sad, this is such a great organization."

it feels good... doggone good! the more i cut back, the better it feels! i think i'll live longer! .

so. more time for family, close friends. travel. enjoy!

[Lowdown3]

Yeah I know the feeling.

I said it once before but my life got a helluva lot better when I started being more selfish with my time.

A group of friends from a distant land invited themselves to my place a couple times a year. This was in years gone by. Timing was rarely convenient neither were we asked was the visit convenient, just basically told when it would happen. Many oversteps happened every time this occurred. We took them on the chin for the most part. Every time a little more seemed to be taken for granted, more liberties, more assumptions. Last go around I was crystal clear "we can only do 3 days because Monday we have such and such" and got a placid agreement. Sure enough Monday rolled around and it was let on that they would stay longer. Nope, I was clear Monday we do such and such, sorry. Then it went to mocking about the activity. Alright, that's it. I'm the nicest person till I'm not. Have a nice trip back. I'm sure never ever saw their constant oversteps as rude or pushy, because you know they love you and all. Last I checked that's not love.

For about 7 years we volunteered at a para church organization. While others were there 50% of the time at best, we missed 3 nights in 7 years and those involved taking family members to hospitals. Similar pushy approach. We were ready to be done, had put in our time- and then some. Gave the polite "probably not, you might want to look for someone else" at the end of one year. First of the following the assumption was we would do it again, and we got pushed to do it. New deal, you have leeway, push the envelope with the kids. OK, few places we are not going to go, they need to discuss certain things with their parents, etc. One night discussing Scripture one smart allec tries to pin me to the wall. What does the church say? "No what do YOU think". Well let's look at The Word, here, here and here. Week later one of the pushers calls me "that kind of scared the kids." Well it was from The Word. "We are going to make some changes and make it all more fun- nachos and pool tables, come in for the meeting we have to discuss some things. Me- I think I have an idea I can save you some time, I'm out and if you had listened in May, I told you we didn't want to do this then. Push push push, "plug you in" all that BS. Nachos, TIKI BARS and pool tables replace The Word. Ironic that you preach against alcohol, gambling and the like, yet are programming kids with TIKI BARS and POOL TABLES. Let's see.... what normally happens around a POOL TABLE in the real world???? Hmmmm, well damn, I can only seem to remember DRINKING, GAMBLING AND FIGHTING around them. Maybe I should have told them about having a bottle smashed over my head at a pool table one time? Nope, it's all about super fun time for the kiddos, keep it shallow but expect them to grow. Typical Amerikant parenting!

[protus]

My wife gets like that , help this,do that,gotta go here.
I'm good for about two days of it......... a month. Especially if it cuts into what "I " want on my days off. Its caused a few conversations. And family is the worst.
Were retired.....only down for 14 days...can we do X on Saturday...were staying 60 miles away....you drive here.
Nope, nope and nope.

[Patriotic Sheepdog]

20-80 rule all have heard before ...... 20% do 80% of work. My wife and I don't play that game any more....did it for years and got burnt as others have noted above. We did our time....now we are VERY selective.