Do we really involve our spouses in getting ready?

[Grinnan Barrett]

I have been on the road pretty much for the last month. One nice thing is I have gotten to spend some time with some really good people just starting out into survival. One gentleman really made me think when we were together. He was totally freaked out about getting ready. He knew in his heart he needed to get started but was so overwhelmed by the very thought of all the things he had to do he did nothing. His wife wanted to get going but he felt he had to put all his efforts into his job.

The more we talked the more I began to realize that he was me in many ways. His wife was trying to get involved and start getting their preps ready but he felt like He was the Man of the House and in GOD's eyes he had to do it all. he could not for some reason give up any authority to his wife to let her make some decisions and work on their preparations. This is a very good man. We talked a lot over a couple of days and it made me realize I need to let my wife be more responsible for certain jobs she feels like she has the skills to do.

My wife is not a wimp about doing things. She can paint, work on plumbing etc. At one time she built a log cabin. I realized that I don't want to hold her back from getting US ready. We both have strengths and we need to use them. As a man I find that I feel like I have to do it all sometimes. Do any of you have the same problem? I was wondering how the women out there felt about this? Am I off base by wanting to let my wife take on more if she wants to?

[1Admin]

Definitely not off base. The women folk can do a lot more than we give them credit for.

My DW said "sometimes they have awesome ideas too" :) But she is right, often times she'll mention something and I'll think "oh yeah, I forgot about that."

I've said it before but it bears re-mentioning- your family is either going to be your biggest ASSET in a survival situation, or your biggest LIABILITY. The choice is yours, it's all about what you do NOW.

[610Alpha]

My wife is the default medic seeing as how she is an RN. She has worked in Nursing Homes and on a Medical Surgical floor where she saw and learned a lot. She sees the packages...has seen the video camera up after I got done doing the grain mill review. The other day she was helping me find some tubs for kindling and we were in the garage and she asked "What are all those buckets for?"...I sheepishly replied "Storing stuff"...she asked "Storing what?"..this time I replied with a little bit more confidence "Storing Food"...that was it. I am a bit reluctant at times to get her involved not because I don't think she has anything to offer...I think partly because she is older than me, about 4 years, but the thought of her thinking that I have gone off the deep end and that she might think that I am some conspiracy quack sitting in the basement wearing a tin foil hat and which leads me to the thought that she wouldn't be 100% on board.

We have had discussions before but she threw out the "God will provide" bit...

My wife is a hard worker and I would love to have her on board 100%...I am working out in my mind a way to have a discussion with her about my role as the head of the household; that I am to provide for and protect my family including using God given wisdom to learn from history specifically Katrina, The Great Depression, and other lessons of history (Spanish Flu etc.).

So pray for me to be bold in this. Course the other issue is she is in the middle of school and is spending her free time preparing her presentation and doing clinical time. I certainly believe in timing.

Thanks for sharing GB & 1Admin

[dilli]

i am the prepper person round here, most all ideas are mine and i drag him into them...not to sound like a schmuck but i have always intimidated men with my abilities... takes a strong man to be able to put up with me and that allows me to be me... nothing i dislike more than having reigns about my neck when not needed and prepping, in my mind, isone of those places where it isnt needed..

[MustangGal]

If you guys want to get the women in your lives involved, have them read "One Second After." The thought of my child going hungry or worse has been a huge motivator for me. By nature, we are caregivers, and the thought of not being able to care for those we love scares us like nothing else.

I'm a pretty tough chick, a crack shot, and I've been told I fight like a man (still not sure if that was a compliment or an insult - lol), but becoming a mother really changed me. I'm still tough, but I have a need to control the future as much as I can to protect my child. I hope I am not just rambling and that it helps some of you connect with your wives.

[Bearman202]

I think something else that might help would be a big helping of humble pie. We can't possibly know it all, there's just too much. The other thing to realize is that a marriage is as much of a partnership as anything else. i.e. it's not a hierarchy. In western culture, the man makes the decisions, but the really wise ones talk them over with their wives first. They usually end up making better decisions. Two heads being better than one, and really, who is more likely to know what clothing etc. you're going to need? There are just some things that women know more about than men, and vice versa. With both pulling equally the cart goes a lot further, a lot faster.

[oldsoldier]

Well.................................The wife and I both prep but in different ways. While I prep with the 3 B's, she financially preps, for our retirement including keeping a good supply of ready cash. It seems to be a good balance.

[ridgerunner]

I have a hard time convincing my wife that "we" need another case of 5.56 :) I am sure the money could be spent on other preps as well. Will I ever have enough ammo?

[SCinPNW]

I am the main prepper in our house. In 2004/05 I sat my husband down and explained to him how and why I thought we needed to be prepared and he agreed. However, he does not have the time to spend researching this stuff nor the inclination--so I do it. But that is how things work in our marriage, we discuss things, then divide and conquer. If I am unsure about something or need to get his help/opinion on something, I take it to him, we discuss and he says I think "X", and I will generally say, "Great idea, thanks!" And then he will say, "Excellent, my work is done here!" which has turned into a joke between us.

The most important factor here is that the other spouse is on board with prepping, how involved they are is another topic. If the other spouse is not on board with prepping than that would be a significant issue that would/could cause problems within the relationship in my opinion. Is it easier to have the other spouse involved, most definitely.

[Hit or Miss]

My husband and I have "Monday Night Date Night" we go to the range for shooting practice and then he takes me to dinner...he was so easy to manipulate. Now seriously, we are in this together. We both have certain areas of responsibility but coordinate all large purchase items and share in those decisions. Prepping is something we do together.

[georgia]

So true! My better half wasn't onboard until he also read "One Second After" and saw the terrible possibilities of a complete collapse. Now he wants to retire and move to a small farming area. He's handling part of the preps while I handle the other half. Our son, a police officer, is also now onboard after reading the book, as is one of our daughters. The others know about it, and I've taught them enough to get them started on the first essentials. They should be able to recognize the first warnings of collapse and react appropriately. As for our church, we've taught preparedness classes, so some of our members are at least aware, and prepared for a minimum of two weeks. It takes time and a hard headed love to get through to those who would rather stick their heads in the sand. But we owe it to those we love to keep trying. So keep the faith, preppers!

[tech]

My wife was supportive, but not truly "on board" until Katrina came thru. Yes, we bugged out, but we also had enough to survive for a good while if necessary. Since that time, she has been more involved and has come across some great deals I likely would not have seen. Teamwork, folks...teamwork :)

[antishot]

This might help me

If you guys want to get the women in your lives involved, have them read "One Second After." The thought of my child going hungry or worse has been a huge motivator for me. By nature, we are caregivers, and the thought of not being able to care for those we love scares us like nothing else.

I have been trying to get my wife on board for the last two years after our last child. BUT she really doesn't want to hear anything i have to say. she about blew a gasket when I turned the small spare room into a pantry and loaded it up. When that happed I asked her do we have home owners insurance "yes" Do we have car insurance "yes" do we have health insurance "yes" do we have life insurance "yes" don't we pay insurance every month for our cell phones "yes" so Hun why don't we have food insurance. I was told we can just go to the store and pick some up :confused:

[Grinnan Barrett]

I really appreciate the feedback thus far. It was very interesting when we brought the topic up in our group meeting last night. There was a lot of silence at first. One thing about our group meetings is we have always had both spouses present or at least invited to attend. We don't do them every week but one thing we are finding is we have to reevaluate our plans on a much more regular basis. It used to be once a year and then we went to once every six months. Now we are every two months. Things are changing so fast now. that is one of the reasons i wanted to bring up this topic. Getting ready is no longer a thing one person can handle in my opinion. you can get yourself ready maybe but not the family. My kids are all grown so they are involved automatically on their own. I know there are some spouses who are not into what we do and that is fine. You cannot half way commit to getting ready. At our meeting we found out very quickly some of the women are much better organizers than any of us ever will be. They brought up questions that we have never considered. It comes back to did I write the plan or did my family write the plan. People buy into what they build.

[JanuaryJones]

Trying to get my husband on board and not successful so far. He is retired from the miliary and works for a security dept of the state. He thinks the EMP threat is low and if there is a disaster I will live with him at work because he will be there 24/7 with the type of work he does. We live 10 miles from his job. Asked him how I will get there with cars and phones not working and he got frustrated and didn't have an answer. I don't know what to do now. Prep alone?